


Inevitable

by frenchifries



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Feelings Jams, First Kiss, M/M, Meteorstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 09:40:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20133346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frenchifries/pseuds/frenchifries
Summary: “All I’m saying,” Karkat continues, pointedly ignoring Dave’s stupidity, “is that we’re practically – I mean, I know you don’t want – well, you know, we’ve been doing the whole feelings jam thing for a while now, and… and if you’re really so confused by the… other parts, it doesn’t have to be a huge deal to try it!”





	Inevitable

“Look, it doesn’t have to be a whole _thing_. Non-quadrantal pacification is a well-established practice among trolls, or it was, I guess, and anyway –” Karkat jabs Dave in the knee, jarring him from his stupefied ritual of picking the lint off a pillow in his lap. “And anyway, you’re barely listening!”

“My dude, I am listening so _hard_ right now.” Dave keeps his eyes on Karkat, but doesn’t stop picking at the pillow.

“Could you even come close to paraphrasing _anything_ I’ve said?”

“Quadrants, piles, blah blah. Are you gonna explain this no-homo pale sex thing or what?”

“Oh my god, for the last time it is explicitly _not_ sex and it is, in fact, _extremely_ homo.” Karkat wrinkles his nose, scrunching the freckles across the bridge. Under the dim glow of the string lights lining the blanket fort, he could probably be considered sorta cute. “You absolute fucking degenerate.”

Dave makes a show of rolling his eyes. “Okay, all I hear is you basically begging to like, touch my face and kiss my boo-boos or however it works.” He holds his hand out for emphasis, which Karkat promptly swats away.

“Yes, Dave, I want nothing more than to kiss your nasty, self-mutilated phalanges. That’s why I have so _graciously_ offered to share with you this most intimate of cultural practices. Obviously. Also, stop biting your cuticles. That shit is disgusting and you’re probably gonna get an infection and die and it’ll be Just.”

The way Karkat slides his brow-shaded gaze over from his spot next to Dave is… also kind of fucking cute. As is the color that tinges his face when Dave says, “Aww, telling me to take care of myself? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re coming onto me.”

“Dipshit,” Karkat grumbles, and bumps his shoulder against Dave’s. The sudden contact is briefly unnerving, but slowly, tentatively, Dave returns the bump. Except it’s less of a shoulder bump and more of a sidelong arm-to-arm lean, and he’s hot all over and something cold is twisting in his stomach because it’s. It’s nice and maybe he kind of… thinks Karkat is cute? And likes… touching him? Which, like, they’ve talked about. Sort of. In a roundabout way with enough room for plausible deniability but like yeah, they’re definitely doing _something_, right? Maybe? God this is so fucking gay.

“God this is so fucking gay,” says Dave.

“All I’m saying,” Karkat continues, pointedly ignoring Dave’s stupidity, “is that we’re practically – I mean, I know you don’t want – well, you know, we’ve been doing the whole feelings jam thing for a while now, and… and if you’re really so confused by the… other parts, it doesn’t have to be a huge deal to try it!” He turns so they’re face-to-face, nearly bringing down the whole damn fort with the overwrought motion. His expression is intense as ever, and Dave can’t help but avert his eyes as the twisting cold-hot sensation builds. “Are we doing this or not?”

Dave opens his mouth and nothing comes out. Immediately, Karkat is backpedaling, eyes now wide and frantic.

“I mean. Shit. We don’t have to. Fuck, this was a stupid idea. God I’m sorry I’m such a dumbass this is dumb I’m dumb let’s just –”

“No dude, you’re good. I’m just. Uh.” Christ, what is he even supposed to _say_? You’re good, I’m just a big dumb idiot? Sorry I’m kind of freaking out because I don’t know what this thing is we’re doing but I might kind of like you in a potentially gay manner which is stupid ha ha I mean it’s been like two years and I’m still having trouble with the whole _people touching me in ways that feel nice_ dealio and oh fuck Dave definitely started saying that out loud at some point. Hopefully _after_ the gay part. His jaw shuts with a click.

After a few long, long moments of watching Karkat’s face flicker through a myriad of emotions (and boy does that troll have a lot of those) he says, “Okay, ignoring the fact that most of that was an incomprehensible mess that could only make sense in the mind of someone as extraordinarily special as Dave Strider…” Karkat gnaws on his lip (oh no oh god oh man stop looking _stop looking_) as he picks his next words. “Does that mean we’re, as you would say, making this happen?”

Dave suspects Karkat is exaggerating his incoherence for Dave’s own sake. What a good bro. He really wants to hug him. Annnnd that thought is the start of a mental garden path Dave should probably not follow right now. So he squashes it down, which he is exceedingly good at, and presses his forehead to Karkat’s.

“Let’s make this shit take place.”

“Um,” Karkat starts, eyebrows shooting up at the whole facial proximity situation. “Well you _definitely_ can’t be wearing those.”

Oh. Sure. Yeah. Dave may have gotten into the habit of going shades-less during their jam sessions, but this time he… maybe kind of faltered on that end, considering just like. The whole sitch. He reaches up, then stops.

“Would it be… appropriate in this uh, cultural context for you to, y’know…?”

There go those eyebrows again. Pchoooo. The speckly flush spreading across Karkat’s cheeks completes the look.

“Oh, uh. Yeah, I mean. Is that. Okay?”

“Hey man, if I’m doing this you know I’m going all in. Striders don’t half-ass nothing.”

“I’m not convinced you have even half an ass,” Karkat says and sticks out his tongue, but goes for it nonetheless. And, shit, calm down Strider, it’s not a big deal.

It’s not a big deal that Karkat moves slow, as if he knows Dave gets jumpy with fast movements around his face. It’s not a big deal that he grabs the arms of the shades gently, careful of his claws, as if he knows these stupid glasses actually mean something to Dave. And it’s definitely not a big deal that Dave feels… safe, here and now, sharing this clumsily-constructed pillow fort with his best bro, who is funny and loud and ridiculous and also kind of attractive in a weird alien way, like those flappy ears and big yellow eyes that he’s currently using to stare at Dave – oh. Yep, there’s that twisty feeling, but breaking eye contact would be a total wimp move so Dave just furrows his brow and stares back.

“Does it always start with a staring competition?”

“Uh.” Karkat doesn’t seem to realize he’s been looking at Dave like that. When he gets his bearings he just sticks out his tongue again, a bad habit he probably picked up from Terezi or Vriska and, ha, what if Dave just sort of… “_Ewuh_ – ‘oss!”

Karkat gnashes his teeth until Dave releases his thumb-and-forefinger hold on his tongue.

“You’re a fucking animal,” he growls. “What makes you think it is even _remotely_ alright to just grab someone’s tongue like some sort of –”

“Don’t look at me, bro, I’m just a dumb human. For all I know this is how trolls initiate, I dunno, fuckin’ tongue baths or whatever. You’re supposed to be the one guiding me on this journey of emotional catharsis and face touching.”

Karkat sighs and rubs his eyes, which squelch audibly.

“Gross, dude. Don’t rub them so hard, you’ll burst a blood vessel.”

“_Now_ who’s coming onto whom, asshole?” He barks a surprised laugh, but it’s only a moment before his face turns surly, slightly shy, and his arms fold defensively over his chest. “Anyway, you know how this part goes.”

“Yeah, yeah, _talking about feelings_,” Dave groans, complete with a convoluted and potentially rude gesture. “You should probably start, since you’re such an expert.”

“If it’ll stop you from dragging this out like you’re so clearly hell-bent on doing!” Karkat huffs, then flops back onto some pillows. He’s quiet for a minute, which doesn’t surprise Dave anymore. Karkat may be a noisy son of a bitch, but he’s also thoughtful, and sometimes that means shutting the fuck up for a hot sec. Eventually, the crease between his eyebrows deepens. “Fuck, of course I can’t even do this right! I’m just thinking about the same dumb shit as ever and you’re probably sick of hearing me whine about it.” 

Dave waffles a bit before joining Karkat in reclination. “Naw man, let’s unpack these emotions. What gives?”

“Just… we’re almost there.”

“Right. That.” Dave’s perception of linear temporal progression may be pretty fucked, but there is exactly one countdown timer he’s got on lock: the ETA on this space rock’s journey.

“And ever since we hit the dream bubbles I can’t stop thinking about how this is all going to end, you know? We get to the new session, and then what?”

“And then we fight some assholes, win, and make a new world or some shit. Right?” Dave carefully omits the part where they meet up with the others. For Karkat’s sake, obviously.

Obviously.

“Yeah, and it’ll go exactly like that. Everything will work out, we definitely won’t die, and nobody will snatch our victory out from under our strut pods at the last second.” Karkat’s hands paint violent shapes in the air above his head. “And that’s assuming we even make it that far! Who’s to say I won’t trip over my own ass and die in an exceedingly disgraceful accident, or that we’re even on course to escape the Furthest Ring at all, or –”

This seems like the part where Dave is supposed to touch Karkat’s face, so he does. The stress-rant is interrupted by a startled chirp. Huh, that actually works.

“I dunno man, I can’t tell you everything is gonna work out just fine. We don’t know what’s gonna happen. Not even Rose, not for sure. We just gotta…” Dave shrugs, which is kind of hard to do while lying on his side. “Go with the flow?”

Karkat sort of laughs at that, though it’s mostly derision judging by the curl of his upper lip. “Says the most anxious asshole in Paradox Space.”

“Ouch,” Dave pouts. “Why you gotta do me like that, bro?”

“You shut your… um. Your…” Instead of finishing what was sure to be a quintessentially epic burn, Karkat looks down like he’s noticed something on his shirt.

“Running out of creative insults? I told you, dog, I said you’d use them all up before year three.”

“No, just…” Karkat chances a glance at Dave before looking away again, a reddish hue across his cheeks.

It’s only in the protracted silence that Dave notices, well, it’s not so silent after all. A distinct rattling buzz suffuses the confines of the fort – oh, Dave knows this one.

(Dozing at the end of a movie with a hand in Dave’s hair. Shutting his eyes during a feelings jam, head on Dave’s shoulder. Lying on the floor with his eyes tracing lights, foot carelessly knocking against Dave’s.)

…Shit. This definitely has to be gay, right?

“Sorry,” Karkat mutters, looking anywhere but at Dave. “This is weird, isn’t it?”

“Hey man, it’s all good,” Dave says, trying to keep it casual. His hand is getting clammy, but Karkat still seems to want it there, so he flips it over. “You’re, uh. You’re good.”

The buzzing sort of stutters into discrete, arrhythmic clicks and uh. Yeah, wow, who knew that was a thing. Dave feels his own face warming. It’s fine, he reminds himself, it’s totally chill. Just two dudes hanging in a blanket fort, lying barely a foot apart, patting each other’s faces and talking about their feelings. Totally platonic, no quadrants here. Just guys being bros.

“Am I even doing this right?”

“Usually you would, uh –” Karkat swallows around his bug noises, which add a weirdly resonant trilling undertone to his words. “Sort of just. Move your hand up and down?”

“Oh, uh. Sure. Okay.”

Dave gives it a shot, trying his best to ignore the fact that he’s basically caressing another dude’s face, stroking from his temple down to his jaw and back up. Tracing the jut of his cheekbone, the dip of his ear. He can practically feel the tension draining from the troll’s body.

“It’s gonna be fine, dude. I promise. I won’t let us lose, okay? I won’t let anything happen to you.” _Beep beep_, back it up Strider, that was Too Much. “To any of you, I mean.”

“Hmm,” Karkat says lazily. “Sure. Okay.”

His eyes slip half closed, and for a minute, Dave enjoys the warmth in his chest at the sight of his chilled-out best friend, the sliver of gold and black visible beneath those dark lashes, the quiet sound of their voices, careful and hushed. There’s a flutter of something at once alien and familiar – fondness, he lets himself think. Just, wanting to lie here with Karkat, all comfy and safe from the outside world, nothing to worry about except which book Karkat will read aloud next, or what movies they haven’t gotten sick of watching yet, or what new and ridiculous snack combinations they’ll come up with. His chest squeezes with quiet desperation. He could watch the twitch of Karkat’s ears, the rise and fall of his chest for hours.

Except, he can’t, because _hey guess what Dave that’s kind of super fucking gay_ and it’s getting harder and harder to believe that this isn’t romantic despite what Karkat said, and they’ve talked enough about it that he _knows_ intellectually that liking another dude wouldn’t be an objectively bad thing but he doesn’t want to, he can’t, he shouldn’t, that’s not how he is, even with Karkat trilling those low tones and their faces so close that if he wanted to he could lean over and just kind of –

“Hey, what the fuck,” Karkat’s saying with now-alert eyes, covering Dave’s hand with his own. “What are you – oh, shit.”

It looks like Karkat keeps talking but Dave can’t really hear the words over – oh. Okay, yeah, he’s. Maybe kind of hyperventilating a little, and Karkat is running a thumb over Dave’s knuckles in an effort to ease him out of it. He’s barely able to make out a “Slow down, stupid, you’re gonna pass out,” before he retracts his hand and jolts upright to scoot back a foot or so.

“Shit, sorry, I don’t know what – that hasn’t happened in a while, you didn’t – I mean I didn’t –”

Karkat pushes himself up into sitting. “Hey, what was that all about?”

Dave’s lips stick together with dryness. Making coherent mouth sounds is proving to be a challenge at the moment. Karkat’s face falls.

“Dammit, I knew this was a bad idea.” He hunches in on himself, hands halfway to covering his face.

“Hey –” 

“I’m such a piece of garbage, I mean, god, here I am basically forcing you to console me like some kind of desperate pale slut, meanwhile I’m too far up my own insecure waste chute to realize _hey maybe this is making Dave uncomfortable!_”

“Wait, no, that’s not…”

“Not what?” He pauses his dramatics, hands comically frozen mid-gesture. Dave would finish the thought, but he’s still a little out of breath. “Shit, hold on,” Karkat says, hesitantly putting a hand on his back. “Just… all the way in, yeah, like that.”

He pulls his knees to his chest and focuses on breathing slow and deep, even as his heart races at the warm body next to his, _touching_ him, it’s –

“Listen,” Dave finally manages, eyes pressed against his knees. “Listen, okay? It’s not… like that. I didn’t mind… I mean, I wanted to… do this. I just got kinda tripped up with, like. Some dumb brain shit, okay? It wasn’t you.”

Karkat growls slightly. Protectively. “You’re supposed to _say something_ when you’re having dumb brain shit! That’s kind of the whole point of this!”

Dave nods, unbearably aware of how truly and deeply Uncool this whole situation is right now. Karkat, for his part, is rubbing little circles in Dave’s back, which is super nice but also kind of making things worse.

“You don’t have to do that,” he says. The rubbing stops.

“Do you not want me to?”

A harsh laugh rips from Dave’s throat. “I don’t fuckin’ know _what_ I want, dude.” He sits up, looks at Karkat for a second but it’s _too much_ and he has to look away. He counts the scuffs on his left shoe. “Or like. I do know, kind of, but I don’t want to really… think about it.”

Karkat hugs his own knees to his chest, chin squished between them. “I mean… if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. But that’s kind of what we’re doing here.”

“I know! I know, and I _would_, but like. I’m pretty sure if I tried I would have a major fucking conniption and just make a god damn mess of everything.”

“Hey, that’s my job,” Karkat grumbles. Dave snorts. “And anyway, so what if you did? That’s a thing that happens! Especially between – I mean, not that we’re – just, you know! We’re doing this whole… _thing_, and yeah! We’re gonna freak out! We have before and we will again!” He looks over at Dave then. “I mean. Assuming this isn’t the last –”

“Nah man, we’ll keep doing… whatever this is we’re doing. It’s chill. It’s… good, actually. To talk to someone. Someone who isn’t Rose, I mean.” Dave sighs heavily and wastes another few moments picking at his cuticles. Eventually he says, “Can I, um…?” and scoots a little closer to Karkat. From the edge of his vision he can see Karkat’s face redden.

“Oh,” he says, lifting his arm so Dave can press against his side. “Yeah, uh. Go for it.”

He does go for it, snuggling into the big gray pillow that is Karkat Vantas. Troll or not, he’s kind of a husky guy, and that means the perfect level of softness for cuddling. Uh. Friendswise. And yeah, Dave can hear his pulse pounding in his ears, and yeah, he can feel the ghostly hand gripping his throat tight with disapproval, the threat of a blade against his stomach. But he keeps breathing, leans his head on Karkat’s chest, and focuses on the weight of Karkat’s arm around his shoulders.

“So,” Karkat says at length. “I’m pretty sure it’s your turn to talk.”

“I guess,” Dave concedes, but continues to not talk.

Minutes tick by in silence, during which Dave’s perception narrows to the steady rise and fall of Karkat’s chest, the just-slightly-off-beat thump of his blood pusher – meanwhile Dave’s own heart bats desperately against his insides like a caged bird’s futile attempt at escape. Even so, his consciousness begins to blur; he could fall asleep right here, he thinks, until Karkat speaks up again.

“What are we doing.” He says it wearily, not quite a question.

“…What?” Dave’s intestines tighten.

“I mean!” Karkat continues, gesticulating around Dave’s torso. “Are we just gonna keep pretending this isn’t… a _thing_?”

“A… what?” Oh god, this is the dreaded ‘what are we’ conversation, isn’t it. The one Dave has skillfully evaded every time it’s threatened to come up before. Karkat stills, goes quiet.

“Am I… am I wrong? Fuck, sorry, we don’t have to talk about this. I’m just being stupid, it’s not –”

“No, it’s… I don’t know. I don’t fuckin’ know, okay?” Dave scrubs at his sore eyes. “I’m not… good at this.”

Karkat sighs out a long breath and presses his face into Dave’s hair. “Could you try?”

And his voice is so god damn sad, and resigned, and _miserable_, that Dave turns and smooshes his face against Karkat’s cheek before he realizes what he’s doing. Once his brain catches up, though, he becomes intensely aware two facts: (1) he is a hair’s breadth of amorous intent away from having just kissed Karkat on the cheek, and (B) it would be way more awkward to back off now than to just stay put.

So he does – stay put, that is – and slowly, deliberately breathes in Karkat’s dusty-bird scent through the worst of his stomach’s roiling. Karkat’s cheek is warm and smooth and soft, and god damn there shouldn’t have to be anything inherently romantic about dudes just kind of mashing their faces together like this, right?

But. Yeah. The ‘no homo’ thing is pretty tired by now, and so is Dave. Tired of fighting against this inevitable Thing that’s been building all this time. Time spent learning to not only tolerate but let himself feel _good_ about the closeness – to the point where this, here, now, sitting with his nose pressed into the cheek of his purring best friend just feels… inevitable.

Oh. Karkat is purring again. Cute. Dave shifts so his nose and mouth aren’t quite so uncomfortably squished and says, “Dude… that’s adorable.”

“_You’re_ adorable,” says Karkat sharply, reflexively. Then, “Fuck! That was supposed to be an insult! Shut up!”

Dave, for his part, is already wheezing softly. “Holy shit. You’re a fucking mess.”

Karkat rolls his eyes, his entire head lolling with the gesture and shaking Dave off enough for their eyes to meet. His face presses into something more serious, slightly pouty. He extends a tentative hand and brushes his fingertips across Dave’s cheek.

“What are you doing,” Dave mutters, not quite a question.

“This was supposed to be for both of us.” His fingers slide along Dave’s ear, palm pressing to his face.

“Oh,” Dave says dumbly. “You know I can’t make those cool noises you do, right?” Karkat smiles a little at that. Fuckin’ score.

“But you could…” Karkat begins, cute little fang caught on his lower lip, “try, you know, talking?”

“Right. Yeah. I…” Dave swallows, gaze flitting down. Eye contact is hard, okay? “Yeah. I could try.”

Karkat’s thumb rubs circles under Dave’s eye, index finger pressed along his temple. Dave lets himself close his eyes and lean into the touch, sighing low and long.

“Yeah. Okay.” Ugh. Picking words is hard, but there’s no word vomit in the multiverse that would suffice right now. “You said you’re worried about when we get there. If we’re gonna have to fight, if we’re gonna win. All that jazz.”

“Are you?”

“I… I dunno. I guess. I haven’t really gotten around to freaking out about that yet. I’m kind of stuck on… how we’re gonna meet up with everyone.”

“Everyone?” Karkat now has both hands on Dave’s face, slipping into his hairline and scratching gently at his scalp. Fuck that’s nice.

“I mean –” Dave has to stop himself before he makes an embarrassing noise. “You can probably figure there are, uh. A few people in particular I’m worried about.”

“Your brother,” Karkat offers, swiping a thumb across Dave’s left eyebrow. The one with the scar over it.

“Shit,” Dave laughs nervously. “I’m not even sure if I’m more worried about him, or… or.”

“John, right?”

When Dave opens his eyes, Karkat is staring at him with something fierce and gentle in his expression. Dave’s question must show, because he continues.

“You compare yourself to him a lot.”

Dave frowns. “No I don’t.” Does he? He can’t recall saying anything that would give that impression.

“It’s obvious, you dork.” Karkat looks away, seemingly guilty at the admission.

“It’s not –” Dave huffs. “I just don’t know what he – what any of them are gonna… think of me. Of the… the way I am now…” He slumps closer to Karkat as the latter gets to work finger-combing his hair.

“The way you are?” There’s a chirp of something like indignation in there, Dave is pretty sure. He has yet to fully grasp all the subtleties of alien subvocal communication. Either way, warmth flares in his gut even through the anxiety and doubt.

“I know, it’s stupid. Just… John and Jade are probably expecting me to be a version of myself that doesn’t exist anymore. Probably never did. And the others, I don’t even _know_ what expectations they have for me but god knows I’m not… what they want me to be.”

“That is stupid!” Karkat growls. “Who gives a shit what they want you to be? You’re what – you’re…” Their faces are too close again, just like, _right there_, Karkat’s breath warming Dave’s nose, eyes wide, fangs pressed into his lip so hard it looks like it might split any second. “You’re who I want you to be,” he says. Soft, afraid.

Abruptly, their foreheads meet, noses just barely touching. Dave can feel Karkat’s eyelashes on his cheek. He’s pretty sure his insides are on fire. _Fuck._

“Dave?” Karkat’s voice is the quietest it’s ever been, hardly even a sound in the microns or miles between them.

“Hey,” Dave says hoarsely.

“Do you… can I…”

A whispered-whimpered “yeah” seeps out, and it barely seems as if either of them moves. More like the space between them slips away as they tumble into the inevitable.

Oh. Wow. Okay.

The dry skin of their lips brush against one another so, so slightly, and it’s like pouring gasoline over the flames raging beneath Dave’s skin. He can’t help the surprised whine that slips from his throat, nor the way his eyes slip shut as he presses back.

Fuck. _Fuck_, it’s… weird, and kind of confusing. Whether his heart is pounding in fear or excitement or both, Dave isn’t sure.

Belatedly, he wraps his arms around Karkat’s neck, and the troll hums against him. Oh. That’s… nice. It’s nice. Holy shit. Holy shit, Dave is kissing a dude on the mouth. He’s kissing _Karkat_ on the mouth – and enjoying it, even though it’s clear neither of them has any idea what they’re supposed to be doing. They can’t quite figure out whose lips should be where, only that they should be touching. Their noses smush together, forcing them to shift and twist to breathe properly. It’s awkward as hell, and completely fucking ridiculous – but so, so nice.

“Oh god,” Dave choke-laughs when their mouths separate. He pats Karkat’s cheeks not quite gently to ease the anxious fluttering in his gut. “That was weird.”

“I – yeah,” Karkat admits, insecurity failing to overtake the doofy grin he smothers with his hand. “Shit, was that… okay?”

“Of course,” Dave says. He shuts his eyes, unable to bear the scrutiny. “Yeah, of course. It was…” A nervous chuckle escapes. His skin tingles like television static. “It was cool.”

And then, because Dave can’t let shit be real for a god damn second, he licks a nasty swath over Karkat’s cheek. But instead of the aggrieved shout-and-shove combo he was expecting, he gets another junebug chitter and wide yellow eyes.

“Hey, uh… Kar? What are you doing?”

Karkat presses his nose to Dave’s temple. At first Dave only feels the hot prickles of giddiness at the contact. Then the sudden wetness of a tongue dipping out and lapping at his skin, which sends Dave flailing in a struggle of pure instinct.

“Oh my god.” Dave clutches at Karkat’s shoulders, torn between pulling him closer and pushing him away, his body quaking with laughter. “Oh my god, dude, gross!”

Karkat growls, sandwiching Dave’s face between his hands. “You wanted a tongue bath, you’ll get your tongue bath, motherfucker!”

“Nooo, stop!” Dave whines and kicks pathetically as Karkat licks rough little patches along his hairline. “If you don’t stop, I’m breaking up with you!”

They freeze.

“What?”

“What?”

“You said it’s not a thing!” Karkat shoves him against the pillows. “You can’t break up a Non-Thing!”

“You just took my lip-ginity!” Dave scrubs his face with his shirt, and uses that as an excuse to hide there for a bit. “It can’t not be a thing after that!”

“I did no such thing!” Karkat howls. “Make up your fucking mind!”

Dave is forcibly resurfaced, and greeted by a snarling face and a collar pulled tight around his throat. He coughs like a miner dying of black lung.

“You would do me dirty like this, Karkat?” Another delicate, pitiful cough into his fist. “You would strangle me to death? Me? Your own… boyfriend?”

Karkat drops him in the shock of the moment. “Oh?” Instead of nervous, or confused, or sentimental, he looks… manically enraged. “You’re my boyfriend? You’re my fucking boyfriend now?”

“Maybe I am!” Dave throws his hands up dramatically, feeding off of Karkat’s borderline-feral energy. “Maybe I’m your fucking boyfriend!”

“God you’re stupid,” Karkat growls, smushing Dave’s face between almost-rough hands. “You’re so fucking stupid. Why do I want to kiss you so bad all the time?”

And he does. He kisses Dave’s stupid, stupid face over and over until neither of them can stop laughing. They collapse into the pillow pile under their own breathlessness, and for a while, nothing else matters.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Inevitable by frenchifries [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20568383) by [dragoninasuitcase](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragoninasuitcase/pseuds/dragoninasuitcase)


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